Written By: Ethyleen Mungin
The key to getting through a breakup is accepting that you are going to be a crazy maniac for the next several weeks of your life because of the five emotional stages (of a relationship breakup), which is defined as SADAA (Shock, Anger, Denial, Acknowledge, and Acceptance).
Now you may not experience these distinctive stages in the order they are presented, however, you will go through them all!
It is best to know, these stages are normal and that everyone goes through them at least once in their lifetime.
STAGE 1: #THE SHOCK
Lately, you have notice that things been a bit rocky between you and your partner; well rocky may be an understatement! More like a TREMULOUS #ROLLER COASTER RIDE FROM HELL— is much more like it.
Anyways, you have come to the realization the relationship is not going to work out? unless you enjoy getting the silent treatment.
For whatever reason(s), the sparks that were flying at the beginning of the relationship have now turned into an uncontrollable forest fire.
You may doubt yourself at this very moment with thoughts of, “The breakup was not a good idea after all.” NEWS FLASH! Of course, it was a Great idea; for whatever the reason the relationship was not working out!
This honestly is #1 rule. Keep your distance and don’t text, email, meet in person or call. You should probably take them off your Facebook or any other social networks while you’re at it.
Normally at the Shock Stage, all that you can really do is acknowledge that the breakup is real, without really trying to wrap your head around what is going on.
You will probably feel all over the place, totally helpless, vulnerable, and overwhelmed, and that your breakup is engulfing every aspect of your life.
Nonetheless, it is necessary to confess to yourself that a breakup has occurred. You should take the time to think things through in as much detail, as you can, be aware of your feelings and emotions, even if you are not able to deal with them right away.
Run through your pain, by focusing on proactive things like sports, healthy exercise, arts, and crafts or involving yourself in any activity that occupies your mind in a positive direction.
Spending time with family and friends, or anyone you care about, (not romantically), should be high on your agenda.
STAGE 2: #THE ANGER
When the initial shock has passed, anger will intensify, and you will wonder why fate picked on you. You will be angry at the world and at your lost love in particular.
The feelings of anger are natural and unavoidable. However, you should take care not to lash out at friends or family who is trying to hold you together.
You might be tempted to pour your anger out on your ex-partner, and this can lead to bitterness, that could poison those good memories once shared or any possibilities of rekindling.
Allow your emotions to spill out! Nothing useful can be achieved if you keep your feelings all bottled up inside. Cry, sob your eyes out, scream and yell. Act in whatever way gets you through the pain you may be feeling.
You will liberate yourself from your pain much quicker. By opening up and letting things out, rather than, pretending the breakup never happen will give you a better outlook.
Do not think you are losing control simply because you are having an emotional breakdown. Shedding tears, and pouring your frustrations out, can be very therapeutic.
So, go ahead, scream into a pillow, have a temper tantrum to release your anger, disappointment, sense of loss, or whatever you are feeling right now to come to the surface during this stage.
STAGE 3: #THE DEPRESSION
The Crap-olla stage is realizing your life will be different, you go through the stages of listening to songs that remind you of them, crying into a pillow that still smells like them, and agonizing about what is going to happen next.
Your life may seem over, but trust, time heals all wounds, and even a broken heart will mend over time. These stages suck, but it is critical!
Depression is a natural feeling when you lose the love and companionship you once enjoyed. Depression goes deeper than ordinary feelings of unhappiness.
A Word of Caution, very often your close friends, quite unintentionally, can hamper your process of recovery, or delay your progress by offering negative feedback.
If this does occur, you need to ask them to refrain from this type of attitude. You will heal from your pain much quicker by avoiding the negative contacts and comments.
Your mission now is to get to the place where you aren’t battling with yourself about the way things are.
Besides, you actually have all the answers inside you, but you need time to hear them.
STAGE 4: #THE ACKNOWLEDGMENT
if you had physical symptoms such as insomnia or lack of appetite, they will lessen and your bouts of depression will become less frequent and less profound. Remember you lost a piece of yourself in the relationship. Now is your chance to find you again and this should be fun.
Over time, you will start missing them less and enjoying yourself more. Keep yourself busy with new hobbies, school, work, and friends.
No point feeling sorry for yourself when there is a big world out there waiting for you with plenty of new and exciting people to meet.
As you begin to adjust to living your life without your partner, your emotions will become more stable.
STAGE 5: #THE ACCEPTANCE
You have come to the realization your ex-partner is not the only one who will bring you joy. Once you open yourself up again, people will want to get to know you.
Even if you are not ready to start an intense relationship with someone else, get out there and start having fun again.
#Acceptance is one of the longest and most painful points in the healing process of a breakup. However, remember that accepting the breakup and accepting your pain is a vitally ingredient of healing process.
When you reach this point, you are no longer worried about, the “another person,” or what the “other person” is doing or thinking. You can view the entire episode as something that occurred in the past, and move beyond it.
You have been suffering from the anguish of recovering from your relationship’s demise long enough and now is the perfect time to compensate you for it.
Do not look for ‘payback’ against your ex-partner because seeking revenge is wasted energy; instead, reward yourself in a more productive way by allowing the breakup to be the beginning of a new you!
Recognize things have changed, and a new page is turning in your life is a big step because you finally take your pain and grief and learn to live with them while you get over these phases.
Remember Gorjez going through the emotional stages of a breakup is inevitable. There are no set time limits, and no strict order, to these feelings, but they are all normal and living through these emotions is what will heal you, and make you stronger.